Is it weird that I find an eyebrow wax deeply relaxing?
I used to pay $25 minimum for a “brow design” back in Seattle. Here I go to the corner salon and pay $8. Sure, it’s not Burke Williams, but the place is clean, there’s soothing music playing, there’s a waterfall, and the chairs are super comfy. Plus, the technician never tries to chat me up - always a bonus for me.
I was a very settled-in 32 when I had Little Miss. I enjoyed a lucrative career and relatively simple life. I had plenty of time (and money) to spend on myself. I got monthly facials, the occasional massage and a bi-weekly wax. We were DINKs back then (double-income-no-kids) and it never occurred to us that those dollars would have been useful five years later when we’d find ourselves facing a car repair, broken air conditioner and $285 for preschool all in the same week. Regardless, I’m the type of person who needs to be alone with her thoughts now and then… like every day… for a long time… And, like most moms, I find that my daily reality is simply not conducive to “me time.”
These days the $100 super-relaxing monthly facial just isn’t an option. An $8 wax is about all I can swing (with a $2 tip, of course - I’m not that girl). So I make it my mission to enjoy every second, from the quiet ride over to the wait in the cushy lobby chairs to the event itself, which, despite the inherent discomfort, involves closed eyes, focused attention on me and only me, and 10 or so minutes of blissful quiet.
I’m a firm believer that being a stay-at-home mom is crazy-making if you don’t take the appropriate steps to keep yourself sane. These steps include a) making time to think, meditate or otherwise relax occasionally; b) finding things to do with your children that you both enjoy; c) establishing clear boundaries so as not to become an indentured servant; and d) taking reasonable care of yourself (i.e., not “letting yourself go”).
That “me time,” albeit incredibly difficult to come up with, is also INCREDIBLY important. Don’t get me wrong - I know moms that take it to a ridiculous level. I’m not suggesting you ship your child off to playcare after school twice a week so you can get your nails done and have coffee with your girlfriends. I’m simply suggesting that you find a few minutes, every now and then, to reflect, regroup, and remind yourself that you matter.
“But we don’t have the budget for that,” you protest. I get it. I feel you. Making time for yourself needn’t involve an expensive trip to the spa. Be creative! There are plenty of ways to “get away from it all” without literally getting away. And you don’t need a babysitter - just a few minutes before bed or on a weekend when the hubby’s around to kid-wrangle. Here are just a few suggestions to get you started:
1. Got a laptop or MP3 player and decent set of headphones? Try white noise and a darkened room to create a sense of aloneness. Simply Noise is free and awesome.
2. Guided meditation is another fantastic way to take a break from your mommy stress. There are loads of free podcasts and low-cost downloads available on iTunes.
3. Take a bath in the dark. I know it’s cliché, but it absolutely works! Light candles if you want, but, honestly, it’s the quiet that matters. Banish your husband, lock the door, play music if you need to drown out the household chaos… just float, enjoy the warmth and the darkness, and let your thoughts drift.
4. Got some time but no funds? Try calling a local massage school. Many schools offer free or low-cost massage sessions to allow their students to perfect their skills before entering the professional world. Don’t worry - student practitioners will have spend many, many hours working on each other before being allowed to work on you.
5. Head to the library. If you’re a reader, the library can be an intensely relaxing place. Where else is quiet a RULE? The library is a great place to read, to draw, or to write in your journal - whatever helps to relax and refresh you.
As a side note, taking time for yourself only works if you don’t feel guilty about doing it. Do whatever you need to do to make sure that you’re able to enjoy your time alone without feeling like you’re neglecting your family. Which, of course, you aren't... but you know what I mean.
Showing posts with label wahm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wahm. Show all posts
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Overwhelmed No More - Getting Stuff Done!
Sort of a logical follow-up to yesterday’s post…
I don’t know about other WAHMs, but I find that I become easily overwhelmed when facing a work week that includes any of the following:
Doctor/dentist appointments
Preschool “changes” – short days, days off, weird drop-off/pick-up instructions
Extra work assignments*
A particularly dirty house OR
Impending houseguests/entertaining
*Extra assignments are great. I love them. I cherish them. They are a blessing. I can and do find ways to work around them. There – moving on.
There are a couple of ways to approach these situations: 1) freak out and act bitchy all week while running around frantically and being largely unproductive; or 2) find a way to get everything (or most everything) done without losing your mind. Most of the time, after an initial freak-out, I opt for #2. Here are just a couple of tidbits I’ve picked up along the way for making it work.
Plan Your Work/Work Your Plan
For a neat freak like me who doesn’t mind housework and lives for the efficient completion of errands and appointments, this is often the best approach. Since I don’t dread getting things accomplished, just become frustrated when there’s not enough time, I can usually set my mind at ease by putting together a plan at the beginning of the week that includes a sub-set of tasks to be completed each day.
For example, if I’m expecting houseguests on Friday, I might spend the early part of the week doing my usual household upkeep (just a few tasks per day) and the end of the week getting the guest room ready and shopping for meals. If there’s an extra “something” happening on a particular day – an appointment or a school event – keep your task list light and save time-consuming items for another day.
Also, I try to find things I can let slide, if just for the week. Let's be honest - - my dinner guests won't notice if I've not dusted our master bedroom in two weeks. If time's tight, it's off the list. Putting my plan on paper goes a long way toward eliminating worry and ensuring that my expectations for the week are reasonable.
Set a Timer
If you loath housework and errands and the very thought of getting your task list completed makes you want to put a fork in your eye, consider the timer approach. Set aside a single hour (or half, or 15 minutes) to attack household tasks. You work only until your time’s up, and save outstanding tasks for your next session. I do this with my work assignments sometimes, actually. I allow myself to spend 45 minutes of each hour working on the things I want to work on, and then spend 15 minutes working on those things I’ve been dreading. You’d be surprised how much you can accomplish this way while not feeling oppressed by those tasks you dislike.
Get the Right Tools
I’ve found that the right tools make all the difference when it comes to homemaking. And I don’t mean a maid (unless you can afford one, in which case GO FOR IT and then send her over here, wouldya?). Once upon a time we had a functional Roomba. If your birthday is coming up, ASK FOR ONE. That thing made my life as a mom and pet owner a thousand times easier. While I had to do a deep clean every now and then, my carpets and hard floors were, in large part, clean all the time with no effort on my part. Lovely.
Recently, I invested in a steam mop. Highly recommend it. I have a humongous kitchen with white tile floors and not only does it show absolutely everything, it takes forever to mop. When it starts to get dirty, I panic, especially if anyone outside our immediate family will be setting foot inside our house within the next few days. The steam mop is going to be a lifesaver. It deep cleans my tile and hardwoods in minutes without any scrubbing, buckets or icky water. Yay!
There are loads of things out there designed to make housework easier. While hard-core homemakers often scoff, I immediately investigate – and so should you! With the right tools, even the most dreaded tasks can be over in a flash, and you can get back to the work you (hopefully) love.
Good luck!
I don’t know about other WAHMs, but I find that I become easily overwhelmed when facing a work week that includes any of the following:
Doctor/dentist appointments
Preschool “changes” – short days, days off, weird drop-off/pick-up instructions
Extra work assignments*
A particularly dirty house OR
Impending houseguests/entertaining
*Extra assignments are great. I love them. I cherish them. They are a blessing. I can and do find ways to work around them. There – moving on.
There are a couple of ways to approach these situations: 1) freak out and act bitchy all week while running around frantically and being largely unproductive; or 2) find a way to get everything (or most everything) done without losing your mind. Most of the time, after an initial freak-out, I opt for #2. Here are just a couple of tidbits I’ve picked up along the way for making it work.
Plan Your Work/Work Your Plan
For a neat freak like me who doesn’t mind housework and lives for the efficient completion of errands and appointments, this is often the best approach. Since I don’t dread getting things accomplished, just become frustrated when there’s not enough time, I can usually set my mind at ease by putting together a plan at the beginning of the week that includes a sub-set of tasks to be completed each day.
For example, if I’m expecting houseguests on Friday, I might spend the early part of the week doing my usual household upkeep (just a few tasks per day) and the end of the week getting the guest room ready and shopping for meals. If there’s an extra “something” happening on a particular day – an appointment or a school event – keep your task list light and save time-consuming items for another day.
Also, I try to find things I can let slide, if just for the week. Let's be honest - - my dinner guests won't notice if I've not dusted our master bedroom in two weeks. If time's tight, it's off the list. Putting my plan on paper goes a long way toward eliminating worry and ensuring that my expectations for the week are reasonable.
Set a Timer
If you loath housework and errands and the very thought of getting your task list completed makes you want to put a fork in your eye, consider the timer approach. Set aside a single hour (or half, or 15 minutes) to attack household tasks. You work only until your time’s up, and save outstanding tasks for your next session. I do this with my work assignments sometimes, actually. I allow myself to spend 45 minutes of each hour working on the things I want to work on, and then spend 15 minutes working on those things I’ve been dreading. You’d be surprised how much you can accomplish this way while not feeling oppressed by those tasks you dislike.
Get the Right Tools
I’ve found that the right tools make all the difference when it comes to homemaking. And I don’t mean a maid (unless you can afford one, in which case GO FOR IT and then send her over here, wouldya?). Once upon a time we had a functional Roomba. If your birthday is coming up, ASK FOR ONE. That thing made my life as a mom and pet owner a thousand times easier. While I had to do a deep clean every now and then, my carpets and hard floors were, in large part, clean all the time with no effort on my part. Lovely.
Recently, I invested in a steam mop. Highly recommend it. I have a humongous kitchen with white tile floors and not only does it show absolutely everything, it takes forever to mop. When it starts to get dirty, I panic, especially if anyone outside our immediate family will be setting foot inside our house within the next few days. The steam mop is going to be a lifesaver. It deep cleans my tile and hardwoods in minutes without any scrubbing, buckets or icky water. Yay!
There are loads of things out there designed to make housework easier. While hard-core homemakers often scoff, I immediately investigate – and so should you! With the right tools, even the most dreaded tasks can be over in a flash, and you can get back to the work you (hopefully) love.
Good luck!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
