WW - Valentine's Day Loveliness

In the Interest of Transparency...

I have a confession to make. I fell off the wagon.

Just a few weeks ago, I came to you with this grand proclamation - I wasn't going to use food and inactivity as "rewards" or crutches anymore. I was going to get healthy for the sake of being healthy - not because I wanted to see myself in my high school jeans. I was going to make smart (not "diet") choices and add meaningful, goal-oriented activity into my life and simply allow my body to reshape itself accordingly.

Well, that worked... for exactly two weeks.

As of last Friday, I'd lost a total of five pounds in two weeks. FIVE! I literally went down a pants size and I was feeling great. I'd started my Couch to 5K runs again and felt like I was really on to something. I wasn't starving myself. I was, like I said, simply making better choices. And I was absolutely sure I was making changes I could stick with.

Last weekend, though, everything came to a grinding halt. I stopped caring, got mad and gave up. And you know what did it? One stupid meal. One stupid, giant restaurant meal that I just wasn't strong enough to say "no" to. So, basically, I decided I'd blown my entire week already so I might as well enjoy myself (rather, punish myself) until my next weigh-in.

Despite the fact that I've woken up every morning determined to work my way out of this rut, I haven't been able to get past the feeling that the damage has already been done. And so, in the interest of transparency, I'd like to share with you what has occurred in the past five days. My food transgressions have included:

1. One giant cheesey Mexican dinner followed by three large margaritas at home
2. Chinese take-out
3. McDonald's (ugh...)
4. A ridiculous amount of late-night snacking
5. Too much stupid calorie-laden wine in general

My exercise transgressions have included... well, not exercising.

So now, as of this morning, my hard-fought five pound weight loss has been reduced to a two and a half pound weight loss. Yes, I know - it could be worse. But I promised myself to take the high road this time around and not fall victim to these awful psychological pitfalls. Oops.

So, what's next?

Well, first of all, I'm not going to let the ENTIRE week be a fiasco. I've been weighing in on Fridays, so I still have today to turn things around (so far so good). Once upon a time I heard someone smart (Oprah, maybe?) say, "All you have is today and a choice..." So let's hear it for today and good choices.

Next, I'm going to need to take a good hard look at what got me so off track to begin with. It wasn't just the one meal, if I'm being honest with myself. There were other stresses involved this week. I felt victimized in other areas of my life, so I apparently gave myself permission to ignore my common sense. That shouldn't happen. If I'm frustrated, I need to find ways to deal with the frustration rather than wallowing in it with a huge chunk of cheese and big glass of Merlot.

OK, there you have it. I 'fessed it, I'll fix it. It's all about accountability, baby.

Consider me back on the wagon.

Daddy's Little Sweetheart

Here's Little Miss all dolled up and ready for last night's Daddy's Little Sweetheart dance. She's showing you her ring. it was the most important part of the ensemble apparently. Both father and daughter report that the event was "very fancy." How did I spend my two hours of alone time, you might ask? Cleaning out my utterly terrifying "project" closet (the nerve center of all my home-based businesses) in preparation for home-selling. Progressing... Slowly but surely, we're progressing...

Chubby Simply Won't Do Anymore

Between raging hormones, the holidays, the inability to exercise like I normally would, and stress eating, I gained an unsightly ELEVEN POUNDS between my miscarriage in September and the end of the year. While it may not seem like all that much in the great scheme of things, I'm normally quite a petite person. At 4'11" a gain of two pounds is noticeable - 10 is almost two pants sizes. Not good. Not good at all.

In the past, I've been a bit of a yoyo dieter, and I suspect that's what I can thank for my snail's-pace metabolism. Since 30, fighting fat, especially around my midsection, has been a nearly impossible task. Given my height, my calorie target for weight loss is in the 1200 vicinity. I don't know about you, but I'm HUNGRY when I try to live on 1200 calories. What's more, despite the fact that I make veggie-rich family dinners most nights, I'm notorious for trying to get away with starchy, salty, cheesy lunches and skimpy breakfasts, which I know are sabotaging my efforts. My "dieting" M.O. usually goes something like:

Breakfast - 100 calories
Lunch - 150 calories
Dinner - 500 calories
After-dinner snacks - 400 calories

Intellectually, I understand that, with habits like that, I can get 60 minutes of cardio six days a week (which I usually do) and still be chunky. Something's gotta give if I want to make a real, lasting change.

Last weekend after a particularly appalling (but I won't lie - delicious) dinner out with my husband, I resolved to change my approach. So, because I believe accountability is key when it comes to goal-setting and personal growth, let me tell you what I plan to do differently this time around.

1. Eat three balanced and filling meals each day, taking care to meet those good old food pyramid recommendations for fruits and vegetables.

2. NOT count calories, but rather focus on identifying low-fat, filling, nutritious foods that will keep me satisfied from one meal to the next.

3. Establish a realistic fitness goal and focus on achieving it rather than clocking a certain number of minutes each week. This summer I conquered the Couch to 5K plan which was awesome. This time I plan to go for 10K and beyond.

4. Decide on one or two low calorie, low fat after-dinner snack options that I will enjoy, but that don't encourage binging (goodbye, pita chips and hummus...).

5. Rid my home of "diet foods" like fat-free chips and sugar-free candy. They are not helping me to make healthy choices and do nothing to nourish my body.

6. Ultimately, within reason, let my body decide what size it will be. If, in three months, I can run for an hour at a time and can say at the end of each day that I've given my body the fuel it needs to be lean, healthy and strong, I can't complain if there's still a little pudge around my belly. After all, I'm a mom. It happens.

What do you think? Solid plan? I promise to keep you posted. Since last Friday, I'm down 2.5 pounds (mostly water, I'm sure - but so what?). Sweet. To be comfortably back within the healthy range for my height, I really need to lose about 10 more. To be at my pre-girlie weight, I need to lose 13.

Here's to doing it right!

Also, on a loosely related note, I feel strongly that every thirty-something woman I know should read Laurie Notaro's The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death. I laughed so hard I cried - several times. The chapter on the broken treadmill was a serious kick in the tush for me (all wrapped up in a sassy, hilarious package). Read it!

Overwhelming Cuteness (Wordless Wednesday)

Healthy Tacos in Five Minutes Flat

I know - this sort of a random post for a mostly crafty blog. But I do like to blog about work-at-home mom stuff now and then, and what's more important to work-at-home moms than healthy meals that don't require hours in the kitchen?

I've been meaning to share this recipe for a while now because a) it's entirely of my own creation, and b) it's really really good. These tacos have become a weekly staple at our house. And for die-hard Mexican food fans like my husband and me, that's really saying something.

This recipe really couldn't be easier. All you need is five minutes, taco shells, some cheese and a few things you probably already have around the house. Or, at least, things we always have around the house.

Five-minute Chicken Tacos

1 t. vegetable oil
1 can chunk white chicken, drained
1 can black beans, drained
1 cup (or to taste) chunky salsa
Taco shells
Taco toppings - shredded lettuce, guacamole, tomato, shredded cheese, sour cream or whatever your family likes

Warm taco shells according to package directions. In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium heat. Add chicken. Add beans. Add salsa. Combine, shredding the chicken with a fork or spatula. Cook until excess liquid has been absorbed and mixture begins to bubble (about 5 minutes). Serve chicken mixture in taco shells with shredded lettuce, cheese or other toppings.

Serve with a fruit salad or one of those microwave Spanish rice-in-a-bag thingies (yes, they work) and you're good to go! The chicken mixture is also equally delicious served in soft tacos or, if you're feeling really fancy, in enchiladas.

Enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday - Genius!

Wordless Wednesday - Parking FAIL

Sheesh. Where's this kid when you need him?

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday -- Pizza Fail

See more at failblog.org

Wordless Wednesday

Source.

My Debut Album

Once again, thanks to Facebook for providing me with an amusing way to waste your time (you're welcome!). I was tagged for this one by Andrea Baker of This Mom's Life and Andrea Baker Designs. Here's how it works:

What would your album look like if you were in a band?

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations" or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover. Note: to respect copyrights, I didn't use Flickr. Instead, I went with one of those free stock image sites and used "funny" as my search term.

4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together.

Did you do it? Leave a link here so we can see!

I Swore I Wouldn't Do This...

Sorry to all my Facebook friends who tagged me in their "25 Random Things" notes. I've forsaken you and decided to post my list here. Why? Because it's Friday, I suppose, and I'm feeling... candid. Deep breath.... Here goes.

1. Aside from once when I was too young to remember, I'd never been on an airplane until I was 23. Growing up in a small town, I also had zero experience with public transportation. My first flight was solo, and to NYC. Learning to get around the city changed my life forever.
2. I talk waaaaaay too quickly, too loudly, and too much. I know this about myself, and yet can't seem to change it.
3. I have a tendency to change the subject or go off on strange tangents.
4. I am curious about everything and annoy my husband by asking questions constantly to which he can't possibly know the answers.
5. I had an adverse reaction to a prescription drug in 2002 that caused very pronounced Parkinson's-like symptoms for six months. I still experience tremors and myoclonic jerks from time to time.
6. I am incredibly, horribly, debilitatingly shy. I overcome it daily.
7. I mostly hate to talk on the phone. This does not mean that I mostly hate my friends, which they sometimes fail to understand.
8. I dearly love hot weather.
9. Lots and lots of random things choke me up - pageants, standing ovations, kids singing, marching bands (why?!), reading to my daughter... The list goes on and on.
10. Most days I feel pretty, regardless of my weight, my clothes, or whether I'm having a good or bad hair day. This has only been true since I hit 30.
11. I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Now I can't imagine having taken any other path.
12. I've written poetry since I was a little girl, but have only shared a few pieces I wrote for a class in college. I have books and books and books full. I can't get rid of them, but don't know what to do with them.
13. I spent a year in college intentionally waking myself up from dreams to write them down in detail. Those journals are some of my prized possessions, but are way too personal for anyone else to see.
14. I pierced my own ears several times in high school while working after hours in a salon.
15. I absolutely love thrill rides.
16. I have a strange and horrible phobia related to corpses and large bodies of water.
17. I would very much rather be busy than bored. I go nuts when left alone with my thoughts.
18. I'm absolutely never satisfied. Never.
19. I need quite a bit of personal space. I don't like this about myself and want to get past it... or at least hide it better.
21. I sometimes eat bologna sandwiches for breakfast.
22. I was a print model for about 5 minutes (OK, maybe it was a little longer) in 1998. I found it incredibly strange to be paid for looking a certain way.
23. My hair caught fire once at a wedding.
24. My husband spilled an entire glass of red wine down the back of my dress at our wedding.
25. My life, despite my perpetual grumbling about minor annoyances, is really pretty great. I'm very lucky.

Have a great weekend!

Wordless Wednesday

Once Upon an Uncharted Island

Confession - I'm a huge fan of the show LOST on ABC. So I was absolutely beside myself when Christina from Cutest Kid Ever and Uncharted Island asked if I'd be willing to a guest post about all the crazy parental relationships being revealed this season on the show.

I had so much to say, I didn't even know where to begin. But when I sat down to write the piece, I found myself totally paralyzed - I can write for this blog and not care if I'm incomprehensible, but writing for somebody else's blog was a whole different beast.

Anyway, I finally got it done after well over a week of procrastinating. You can read it here. I'm not sharing it with you because I think it's a particularly well-written article - it's really not. But I got my points across and I delivered the thing, despite an overwhelming desire to rewrite it to death and/or toss it in the toilet and go off the grid for a week. I'm sharing it with you because I'm proud of forcing myself out of my comfort zone and for doing something less than perfectly without regret or shame. That's no small feat.

This Kid is Kuh-Razy

I confess - I've been having a lot of fun with Twitter. Not only is it a great way to discover fellow WAHMs, trade business tips and tricks, and find loads of amazing products/blogs/sites, it's also occasionally... well... hilarious. I suppose when you get 700 rather outgoing people in a room together, somebody's going to say something funny now and then, right? The 140-character format is just perfect for those "OMG this hysterical thing just happened" moments, and I love posting weird and wacky little things that happen between me and my daughter throughout the day.

This morning I realized I could search my twitter history and started reading back over some of my recent "tweets" about Ms. Thing (generally referred to as the "girlie"). Because I don't share much about my family here, and, frankly, I'm drawing a bit of a blank when it comes to blogging today, I've decided to share with you some of my faves:

Me: "Sure you don't have to potty before naptime?" The girlie: "Don't worry, mom - if I have to go poopoo, I'll call you on your cell."

Me: "Better wear your coat, sweetie - don't want to freeze your tush off." Girlie: "I won't, Mom, I promise. It's strong stuck on!"

Me: "Night night, sweet girl. My lips are ready for a kiss." Girlie: "That's weird. My lips are ready for a nice big glass of milk."

Me: "You know what, sweets? I was just thinking how much I love you." Girlie: "Aw. I was just thinking how much I love your necklace."

Me: "Aren't you about ready for some breakfast?" Girlie: "Sure. I think I'll have some nice hot morning Nerds."

Girlie: "Maybe when I grow up I can be a chair. A strong strong chair... Can I have a vitamin?"

I have been informed that the little girlie's dinner "tastes like pantry." What do you think that means?

My daughter has just knighted me with her magic wand. I've been dubbed "King Princess of the Mom."

That kid's nuts I tell ya. Want to follow the adventures of King Princess of the Mom as they occur? Tweet me here.

Tagged!

I confess, I'm that girl who fills out emailed questionnaires about my favorite lollipop flavor and husband's most annoying habit, and then sends them out to all my friends in the hopes that they'll send back all their most intimate secrets in return. So it is no surprise that I'd be happy to oblige when my blog was tagged by fellow EtsyGreetings member, Heather (winemakerssister). So here goes.

The idea is to tell 6 things that people may not know about me, then tag 5 other bloggers to do the same.

1. My husband and I lived on a boat for the first two years of our marriage. And no, it wasn't, like, a houseboat. It was a boat boat. We loved it, actually. Although, I will say that the Seattle winters were even more damp (if that's possible) out on the water, and it was a long, sad walk up the dock in the morning drizzle to my car each morning. I also wasn't big on having to share a bathroom with the businesses that occupied the marina office building, but I digress...

2. I studied theatre in college and have acted/modeled professionally, both onstage and in commercials/print advertisements. Most of that was a loooooooooooong time ago, but I'm actually appearing right now in an a TV commercial for my Democratic candidate for US Congress.

3. My husband and I were die-hard minor league hockey fans before my daughter was born, and I was kinda famous for shouting particularly rude things at the opposing team. Apparently I once yelled at an injured player, "When there's blood on the ice, THEN I'll feel sorry for you!" Not my proudest moment. There was beer involved. That's all I'll say about that.

4. I cut my own hair.

5. I once spent a summer doing an internship with a pharmaceutical company, in a manufacturing facility. I was the only girl and the only person working in my facility under the age of 40. Awkward. I had to wear a plastic spacesuit, steel-toed shoes, safety goggles and shower on the way and in out of the plant each day. At one point, I was exposed to "dry product," had a reaction, and had to be moved out of the plant and into the administrative offices for the rest of the summer. Not my favorite summer job. Did I mention the hours were 6 to 6 (days and nights, alternatively) and the pay was $5/hour?

6. I'm a socialist. Just kidding. Kinda.

Utter Randomness

No idea why I find this so endlessly amusing, but here you go...

When you reach for a carbonated beverage or offer one to a friend, what do you call it? Coke? Pop? Personally, I go for "soda," but I've always been fascinated with the apparent geographical component involved in how my friends and family all refer to these refreshing, sparkly drinks.

Well, the theory of soda "regions" has been proven! Check it out:


You can read the whole article here. Now the only thing left to explain is why my fellow native Hoosiers refer to any cola product without sugar as just "diet." As in, "Can I get a large diet?" Yeah. Weird, right?

I now return you to your regularly scheduled crafts blog.

**UPDATE** Operation Tightie Whitie

Success! Somebody crown me - I'm the queen of all tricksters!

On Monday, I picked up three pairs of my husband's favorite underwear..... in size small. My husband is 6 feet tall and not particularly petite. I washed and dried them twice. Tuesday morning, just before heading out to my daughter's preschool class, I replaced my husband's regular underwear with the smaller pairs. Underneath the stack, I ever-so-lovingly placed a little note which read, "APRIL FOOL'S, SUCKA!"

While out and about with my 2-year-old, I waited for the call. When it finally came, I couldn't contain myself. "Ha! I got you!" My husband, always a good sport, admitted that yes, he'd been had. Apparently, he tried on all three pairs (they only made it to his knees) before he saw the note. "You really got me, honey," he said, before heading off to work, leaving me to bask in my April Fool's Day glory.

When I got home, there was a note on my counter. "It's ON," it said. "Yeah, right," I thought. "By the time he gets home, he'll have forgotten all about it." My daughter announced that she was ready for lunch, so I grabbed an apple and went to the sink to rinse it off. That's when it hit me. The WATER, I mean. Massive quantities of water, suddenly dripping from my hair and soaking the front of my t-shirt. I was so stunned that it took a good ten seconds to realize what he'd done. The sprayer handle.... taped. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! He's gonna GET it next year.

Fuh-fuh-fuh-Foolin' - April First is Almost Here!

Who else has Def Leppard on their iPod?!?! YEAH, BABY! LET'S GET ROCKED!...... Oh. Just me? Ok, then.... moving on.

Alright, people, huddle up. April Fool's Day is just around the corner and this year I'm determined to be the "fooler" for once. I may be a Virgo, but I'm vowing here and now to set aside my intolerance for silliness and take advantage of this once-a-year opportunity to make someone (ahem - husband) feel like a complete idiot for one brief shining moment. Mean-spirited? Possibly. But, from the moment we met, the man has been constantly looking for ways to embarrass, confuse, ridicule or otherwise horrify me in front of large groups of people. It's my turn!

How about you? Are you planning to get up to some dirty tricks this April 1st? Any fantastic ideas or are you drawing a blank? To get us both started, I'm listing a few of the great classic pranks of all time.

• RIGGED SPRAYER - Put a rubber band around the button on your sink's spray nozzle. Create a situation that requires your victim to wash his/her hands and watch the hilarity ensue.

• FUNNEL FUN - Put a funnel in your pants waistband and drop a quarter from your forehead into the funnel. Bill this activity as particularly difficult and challenge your victim to try it for him/herself. Once the funnel is in place and the victim has leaned his/her head back to balance the quarter, grab a full glass of water and pour it quickly into the funnel. Run!

• SALTY SURPRISE - Fill your sugar bowl with salt. Make some coffee. 'Nuff said.

• BUG IN A BURGER - Pick up some rubber "roaches" at a toy store. Surprise your family with take-out. I get the giggles just thinking about it...

• EARLY BIRD - Wait til everyone's asleep and set the clocks forward a couple of hours. Wake your husband and/or kids at the time their alarm clocks would normally go off with a shake and a panicky-sounding, "Get up! You're late!"

• TIGHTY WHITIES - Buy the same type of underwear your victim normally wears in a much smaller size. Wash several times to create a well-worn look. Replace the underwear in your victim's drawer with the smaller size. Try desperately to suppress your laughter as he/she victim tries to get dressed.

I don't know about you, but I'm inspired. Watch out, my one true love, I'm comin' for ya. You won't know when and you won't know where, but rest assured - you'll be fooled. Mmmmmmmmmwah ha ha ha!